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Sunday, January 31, 2010

is ending

the misery post…..

some days in the past, I was so proud on myself.

some days in the past, my self-esteem was built drastically.

some days in the past, I was in the sweet dream.

some days in the past, I was jubilant delight in the war.

some days in the past, I was cheer with all of you.

so sad you have forgotten me.

so sad to say I can’t leave.

so sad I still living with your soul.

so sad I finally know I ain’t nothing to you.

so sad you leave me again.

so sad you ignore me.

so sad I loved you.

two months, I couldn’t find your foot print.

two months, I couldn’t search you.

two months, i couldn’t receive your email.

two months, I couldn’t wake up from missing your shadow.

two months, I couldn’t hide the shine from you.

two months, I darken my heart just to reserve this place for you.

two months, I receive much of blessing from friend just to encourage me to get you back.

two months, I totally lost in the way of loving you.

the starting ain’t nothing to me.

the jealousy ain’t nothing to me.

the only friendship ain’t nothing to me.

the money ain’t nothing to me.

the dark path to love you ain’t nothing to me.

the attacked was too hurt.

the curse was too cruel.

the sun shin was too bright.

the soul has fallen.

the repel between us has started.

the love between us has ended…………………………………………

the post is for me and you…….

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

come through here and shout it loud.....

some one stray me out to the dumb.....damn

not a lucky day for me, suffocating, headache and much more bad matters happened on me.

for this shortly update, no point to let the pedestrian pass through here and get bull shit. so i decided to do this once in year 2010. maybe is a silly decision for me, but perhaps it help me to put out words to here... not an empty space with no living lifestyle, as well as breathing.

in all those words down there, my friend said i have totally change to another guy, is it reality to me? i cant accept, my friend is always precious for me. thus i praise my friend here is the previous post. but, some of them complained the photo too ugly, some said why no me?( paiseh....i'll do it for you, friend...^^) do i really like an teacher sending knowledge to you? tell me the truth.......i will appreciate......

to keep it short, the photo 2day had cut, and the stress i bear had thrown and the happiness finally appear in the blinking of eyes. TQ...^^

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

misery and follower

today is a hard day. I think SMK MENJALARA form5 students can’t enjoy the ending of add math papers. is tough job for me to get a A+ result. even a C- I also fail to get it.

procrastination is the thief of time. I believe this proverbs in my life. it can show how much that you and I wasting precious time.

I not a perfect human, perhaps I still can read time number in the clock. this exams failure has totally hurts me, i can’t believe i blank the answer column. is the 1st time for me. I’ll never blank it even I have no idea to do, misery fulfil my heart. after couples of hours of calming down myself, is another minute I stepping onto. ‘this is just a starting point’. everything end with a start. tell everybody here, be strive…….

for the followers, I think I should change the ads name, change to accompany. follow is such a word nerd. we use follow to our pet, not human as well as not blogger. we just accompany to each other to enjoy typing and sharing in this big network, like another galaxy……^^ I will try to change the word follower……………………….XD

Monday, January 25, 2010

love can't describe in word....

another day without you…..

I find out I feel misery when I stepped onto your heart……

I feel nervous when everybody what I thinking to her……

I feel those sms drafts are no-stamp envelope……

I feel my handphone is fulfil with much of hope….

I feel fervour frenzy in my heart for your reply….

I feel excited to open the message you send to me……

I feel scare that my brothers help me to say out my feelings…..

I feel weired to face you after telling I LOVE YOU….

I feel shame in front of many younger…..

I feel desperate when you reject me relentlessly….

I feel wasting my time pursue one girl that means zero to me…

I feel lost when I can’t LOVE YOU any more…..

that’s too much LOVE filling in my minds…..

that’s too much your stuff around my minds…

that’s too much your shadow showing by my sight…

that’s too much your voices surrounding my ears…

that’s too much smiling I can see on your face, I miss it.

that’s too much words comes from you rehearsed saying in my minds, all those advises, praises, hello, and more and more……..i miss it……

too much of things I can describe,,,,,but just a word can’t, LOVE, It is only a way to show you, feel and feel……

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Human trafficking

light on to care your children

Where is our humanity? It is we dropped when our mother push hard to born us? Is funny.
The kids have missing invisibly in HAITI. No one knows where the kids gone. The head line of past days newspaper shown that is some of the children missing. Some of the reporter says that kidnapped, some says die, and some says kidnapped. I believe kidnap. I had watch tans of movie shows how cruel is this world. One of the movies is human trafficking. They kidnap children and sell them to other country. Can you imagine when you live in a country with much of stranger, different language, different culture. You are not going there for fun. You ‘re going there to be a panhandler, a gaberlunzie. Some of those ‘company’ would blinded your eyes before sending you to raise fund. In the movie SLUMDOG MILLIONAIR, one scene is about the felon ask the kid to sing. The prix is can go to do show, the felons lie to the kids. Felons will only grab their eyes and force them to be a panhandler. Felons will think those blind can raise more money for them. This is just a small case we can see every where in this world.

How cruel is our human now a days. If woman trafficking, without any thinking, you and I will know where they are going. Being a tool for those carnality mans. Girls must be protected by a man, not being a tool to a man. Girls, protect yourself, your virginity, your heart and your soul.
Although the HAITI earthquake is passed tense, but it has many things we can learn from it. I feel so misery when I opened the photo of HAITI victims. It was so scary. Can’t describe in words, just an only way, use your heart to feel it. Maybe it brings much for you to know we are lucky to born here and we’re here doing nothing, is a curse from god. Maybe some of us don’t have the ability to help, but we can pray. Keeping our finger cross pray that the souls will find the final destination where they want to go. Is not difficult. Although we have different GOD in our heart, but no one mind. Pray earnestly and find some words that to praise those who fly to HAITI to save and help.

Too many things human can’t predict. Maybe I will die suddenly in front of computer. The ceiling on my head fall down out of the blue. Is too much that goes uncountable. Misery goes to my mind, some of my friend didn’t know what happen in this world, continue revel without purpose. Maybe I have no point advising them. It need another human to call out the keys in our brain. Without key, we can’t do anything intelligently .

Before end, is not too late to pray for the victims in HAITI. I post this late better than don’t tell you this reality happened.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Suffering in exam totally killing me.

for my short update.

Suffering in exam totally killing me.

I’m taking history tomorrow, I think no one blogger loves history. Especially asia tenggara. Unfortunately, every one of us must take, no choice. Maybe I love English history rather than taking this Malay teaching history. Some words of malay is bored utill you feel bored to look at. In higher education, everything is teaching in English, why public schools don’t give a chance to chance this syllabus?

But according to Malaysia style, you must have black and white, after that u need to put a stamp, and then post it to some place for them to follow, by the way you should hand in your black and white before you go, or money also acceptable, after sending, “nodiah, mana ini dating?” “saya pun tak tahu.” For my words “ jangan buat tak tau la, tak tao bahasa Malaysia ke??? This is the final as well as only answer that I could guess. MALYSIA can!!?? Yes, I believe in turning of my mind, dreaming time come, now this is my historical post.

TQ blogger for coming here watching me bluffing,.

Keep my finger crosses, 2moro my history don’t fail………~~

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

EXAMS troublesome!!

Exam ,Exam, Exam!!!!!!

Why Malaysia education is only Exam. One form 5 year need to take Exam every two month. In fact, the teachers can’t draw out enough time to teach us as well as finish the syllabus. Then how we gotta step into the REAL SPM?

By the way, I extremely feel unfair that some good teachers always teach the front class. Does the SUB-SCIENCE class shame our school? That’s F**K. blaming to those who feel different from me. My school physic teacher totally lost when teaching my class. Although the IT-EDUCATION teaching cost very high prize to school but it seems to no avail. No one will feel interest to the STUPID COMPUTER SOUNDS. The pronunciation of the computer is perfect, but alas, do we actually understand. Our country may known AS ROJAK. We say too many language compare to other country. How we gotta know the foreign pronunciation? So of us maybe unlucky haven go to Europe country, I’m not exception. So, I prefer teacher sound than ROBOT.

In other way, my physic teacher maybe educated from secondary school only. At times, she taught us some wrong formula, we were lost that time. We have to put more money depend on TUITION CENTRES. My pocket moneys burnt too when taking bus to tuition, DAMN.

Do our teachers false or ours, students? Do we feel enjoy looking the screen from projector? Or we can read 10 subject ourselves without any helping of teacher?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

blogger smile happily


Few days didn’t update here. Maybe it will cost some customer feel bored and go another blog shop. So before my blog spot suicide, I would like to give a life kiss to here or give an internet Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation (CPR), look whether how much percent can I save, maybe is impossible, because I have many friends smile here, it brings happiness and luckiness. Those are worthless as well as invisible, I really appreciate.

Study in Chinese class, bible class, they teach me about appreciate, no matter how less is it, don’t cool those avid ‘crown’, let rock this cruel world with our smiling face, bring all happiness to the pedestrians, neighbors, seller, waiter, families and the most important –friends.

‘Do you know me?’ I think twice about this question, a part of my mind shows important, another part shows who minds. Maybe we can discover both. I establish warmness, spirits, and a heart of care, to this leaf-ING room. May I ask for your co-operation to smile frequently, warmly, happily except peevish, despicable and cruelness.

According to a ## professor said, smile everyday can destroy the Azrael, bring the world to a stress less ambit. We may need fervor frenzy to protest the concept of smile, is not overdraw, but is a vantage point to color this muddy earth. Not too bad, I may start this jobs J, instead of waiting those bad behavior human to gaze me back.

By the way, one issue need to drag into here, that is not smiling to the bad guys, protect ourselves to get another wave of hurting, relentlessly.

CRY out loud when we feel sad,

LAUGH out loud when we happy,

SHOUT out loud when we feel stress,

revel our life before the day end,

we won’t know what will happen next, and cherish the moment that we still breathing out, GOD bless.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

let me feel like shit!

The stresses and rules have overcome my soul.

Everything human may want it in perfect, high profits. Is it we need to achieve the perfect all the times, is sad to say that. We have controlled by the ‘stress demons’.

Rules, everything in this have their own rules, the GOD also not an exception. We need to follow the rules, although the situation is in chaos. Do human create the rules? What genre of rules you usually keep? We can make the rule easier and we can have a longer life.

Today, I broke my own superman rule. I was so sad that when I stepped into my leaving room, another attack of stress come to me in a lighting speed. It didn’t tell you ‘I’m going to hurt you, be careful’. There no such words in this high-frequency war. We may be die in just a blinking of eyes, either than a sand goes in to eyes. Without the signal, I scolded by my mom. And does she really know what situation is that? Does she need to use the rules to pull me down from happiness? Without any others word, I was hurt. No anymore word in dictionary can describe me, extremity.

One yell from my back, scared my soul and I definitely lost. I can find a hole to hide myself; it was too embarrassing to face or to show my face. My brain had congested. My eyes had blushed. My hand was covering my face. I have a long time doesn’t dropped into this endless hole.

Maybe I had acted too long in this muddy earth. Although I’m not an actor like Tom Hanks or Morgan Freeman, but to survive, do I have choices? There is much of stress coming in a times, smoldering behind you and me.

Today couldn’t type any happy words to comfort myself, just the only way in this moment, face the reality even how relentlessly is that, only talking to god and encourage my soul to do it better next time. My intention is just want to have a blissful lifestyle, revel my life, stop telling me the how cruel in this world. I can’t gulp up all these.