a hard way to say goodbye

The cloudless sky made the star unseen. By typing words here, my heart was huffing and puffing. I tried to establish a new life. Yet, I failed. I was clueless about myself, trying my very best not to remember you. Tears started bursting out, pelting against my gaunt face. I couldn’t see any brightness as well as I was sinking into despair.

Sobbing miserably was the only way I can relieve my sadness and disappointment. I was in the blue. I tried to dull my inner scream. Yet, I failed. This was another cold night, another fortnight I failed to forget you. I was wondering why the night was cold while you were not by my side. You had warmed and melted me entirely. You had become the meaning of my life.

That day, the sun shined relentlessly, instilling a sense of ecstasy that made me feel ten story’s high. Showing my cheery countenance, it was a date, which I had longed every second since I knew you. Although I stay up over night, I couldn’t hide the excitement of dating with you. I continued peeping my watch. Man should be punctual. As I was waiting beside the bus stop we met the 1^st time, I was flabbergasted.

I saw him put his big, hairy arm around you, and you sank into his chest. You had hurt me with an invisible knife. My heart was breaking when you boarded a bus with him. This immense cold and nameless fear engulfed me as I was stunned at the bus stop. Upheaval began! My 1^st love story ended. In fact, I was dumped without a reason. Even I stood there throughout the sunny afternoon; no one could answer me why you are leaving me.

Absurd, the sky could feel me, I was upset. It drizzled. I was drenched from head to toes. There was an Azrael besides me; my mind was flooded with suicide note. Writing a suicide note was the last thing I wanted to do for her. While walking along, I saw a borderless path, it was endless. Before long, darkness sealed my sight. I could hardly feel a sharp pain on my back.

After having a medical care in general hospital, I would hardly type my words with mercilessly. Outside was a chaos, deceivers’ playground, stealing my heart and breaking it cruelly. I was trying to disguise my hate as love.

simply trying my words......and really feel the story

Easy come easy go makes nothing precious

We do not cherish the things that come easily. We will abundant it with no mercy. Drat, what a bad behavior we have, simply wasting the things we have. Malaysians don’t know what the life Africans is having now. All of them are starving for food, yelling for help as well as succumbing beside the door of heaven. Absurd, we have too much food, overwhelmingly. And we are feeding half of the food to the flies. Sometimes, you will see a large fly drop into food. This is not because they are tired, they are telling us “why abalone, meat, fish again..”. They start feeling bored what we are eating.

It is a slurs for us, simply insulting us. When I saw a kid refusing to eat, I was deeply clueless what was happening. Why some kids are starving, why some kids are in the state of obesity? Our country doesn’t seem poor. We have aware we are lucky in this world. We have all sort of food here. Some blogger are introducing massive choices of sumptuous cuisine. But keep in heart, eat with appreciation. Do not globs deliberately, eat in the volume our body needs, not over feeding ourselves.

We have our food easily, so we waste it. This is the young’s trend. Parents have made a good living for us, remember says thank you. I am wondering why god separate human into different lifestyle, different fortune and everything different.

Affluent helps the less fortunate. Start thinking this way. What you have today is just an asset; it doesn’t follow you every day. Everything will lose when you die, nothing on you (B.O.B). Then help those who are in need. ^^

END-ing

I hate my stories come with a monotony ending. I would like to have some exciting as well as unpredictable, neither unbearable nor boring. In a blitzkrieg of loving game, I have not excruciated by any girls. Nevertheless, depressing would starts sinking on me, until wee hours, recruiting my perfect soul again, a better girl would have waiting for me. I would have to continue studying hard albeit I was dumped by a girl, first time. (Usually I dumped them, this is the 1st time).

How would it be an ideal ending in a relationship? It seems to be a bit early for me to think about it. In the fast-paced world, everything could have happen but it have denied by time. So, I have to cheer up, stop burdening myself with innocent questions.

Exams are imminent. I wonder how fast a second can passes through my life. I am wondering how the time could stop going on, waiting for me to have enough slumber time.

Hoping my next ending will be a spectacular stunt, not a bored.

losing control...

A few days I didn’t open my website updating my recent activities. It seems I would have to off my site before it die. Absurd, making decision is my shortcoming. And I have no idea this few days what am I busying for. I’m not diligent on my studies and blogging as well. Asking what happen to me, no one can answer me but a word “decline”. Maybe world cup has mixed up my time table, I have to stop this damp situation. ARH~~~~





My mom asked me about my future career. i’m not going to tell her I will fail my history and moral subject. What can I answer her question when I have no idea about myself.





Fellows asked how my relationship with God is. Oh no….i was totally caught by this question. I don’t have enough confidence to tell him what I’m thinking.




What I gotta do now??? Missing in this small planet……..

DOG OR MAN

Some people are working like a dog; some people are playing with dogs. Sarcastically, people would choose playing with dogs but not human being. Well, it sounds like I’m a dog-hater, boycotting dogs. But I have seen several scenes that tell me dog is more precious than human. Deeper, dogs own an owner; dog gives orders to their owner

.what do you think if we feed them compare to feed milk to dogs???

or rather buy shirt for them???

Still, people devote themselves to serve a dog, refuse to give some attention to whom indeed render helpless. Does it make sense to you?

I have read some articles about how to be a dog’s owner. It tells me many wealthy people have extra-unnecessary money and time to feed their puppies. They treat their dogs like a human being, but opposite attitude to dog’s shop worker who unintentionally make her puppy bark. Absurd, where was the ordinary behavior

communicating to people gone?

i prefer HOTDOG...better than become a junkyard dog.....

Comparing human to dogs, people may be crying now. In fact, some people say we live in a dog-eat-dog world. That means many people are competing for some things, like good jobs. They say that to be successful, a person has to work like a dog. This means we have to work very, very hard. And the situation would be worse if they become sick as a dog.

Some people are compared to dogs in bad ways. People who are unkind or uncaring can be described as meaner than a junkyard dog. Junkyard dogs live in place where people throw away things they don’t want. Mean dogs are often used to guard this property. They bark or attack people who try to enter the property. However, sometimes a person appears to be mean and threatening but is really not so bad. We say his bark is worse than his bite.

Then what do we prefer? Be a dog? Be an owner? Or continue to over-feed our pets? Let it gain pet’s obesity?

To someone who works diligently, god will know, pray to him, let someone help to overcome obstacles…

praise HIM

After finishing my malacca camp, I have to give myself a break, to continue my long-long journey.

Reviewing back my previous post, I have not written any evangelism post. It is no doubt, I’m just a pseudo-Christian. I was sad and deeply regretting what I have missed. Sarcastically, my Facebook religion view is written that I am a Christian. What I have done, it is not enough to praise my god. Anyway, I have bought a new international version bible. Start to read English version, and then write in here. “Love the Lord your God with all your mind and with all your strength” <>

my new bible.....sheer white....

I have learnt a lot after this camp. There are many Christians came from all over peninsular and Singapore. I was fascinated by some of the girls, maybe I have seen umpteen KL beauty, now is the time to seek some other beauties from different state. Excluded the girls, the most handsome pastor, a Singaporean, he has sought my soul into his brilliant sharing. I couldn’t found any way to dream but God. He has shared all his experiences with us as well as jokes that relate to our life and gospel. He has taught me what a behavior must a Christian have. I thank him with his good work.

the view from my bed in Melacca

SUSHI KING....again......

Before ending this short post, I can’t wonder what time I can type another post, I have no time. It is so cruel.