a hard way to say goodbye

The cloudless sky made the star unseen. By typing words here, my heart was huffing and puffing. I tried to establish a new life. Yet, I failed. I was clueless about myself, trying my very best not to remember you. Tears started bursting out, pelting against my gaunt face. I couldn’t see any brightness as well as I was sinking into despair.

Sobbing miserably was the only way I can relieve my sadness and disappointment. I was in the blue. I tried to dull my inner scream. Yet, I failed. This was another cold night, another fortnight I failed to forget you. I was wondering why the night was cold while you were not by my side. You had warmed and melted me entirely. You had become the meaning of my life.

That day, the sun shined relentlessly, instilling a sense of ecstasy that made me feel ten story’s high. Showing my cheery countenance, it was a date, which I had longed every second since I knew you. Although I stay up over night, I couldn’t hide the excitement of dating with you. I continued peeping my watch. Man should be punctual. As I was waiting beside the bus stop we met the 1^st time, I was flabbergasted.

I saw him put his big, hairy arm around you, and you sank into his chest. You had hurt me with an invisible knife. My heart was breaking when you boarded a bus with him. This immense cold and nameless fear engulfed me as I was stunned at the bus stop. Upheaval began! My 1^st love story ended. In fact, I was dumped without a reason. Even I stood there throughout the sunny afternoon; no one could answer me why you are leaving me.

Absurd, the sky could feel me, I was upset. It drizzled. I was drenched from head to toes. There was an Azrael besides me; my mind was flooded with suicide note. Writing a suicide note was the last thing I wanted to do for her. While walking along, I saw a borderless path, it was endless. Before long, darkness sealed my sight. I could hardly feel a sharp pain on my back.

After having a medical care in general hospital, I would hardly type my words with mercilessly. Outside was a chaos, deceivers’ playground, stealing my heart and breaking it cruelly. I was trying to disguise my hate as love.

simply trying my words......and really feel the story

let love down......

It comes to speechless when I tell my feeling to her. I’m just like a pseudo-lover in front of her. Even a popular card and a T-shirt, I also can’t leave it. The memories have been etched. The mails have never been deleted. The shirt I keep has become a precious to me.

It’s complicated between us. We‘re living in different background different friends circle. It’s speechless again, remember when u look at me and smile, I know u look for me one. But this time I have to let love down. U have been let me down. Again, remember when, u put our heart on me, but couldn’t play on time. We couldn’t greet. Love finally away, I don’t have to remind you, you know I’ll be around. Let us down. Let love goes.

Looking my friends one by one defeated on love war. Listening to all love songs won’t fulfill the happiness. I wish you will here. I wish you stop sobbing. I wish a better life we can ever have.

love fall on water finally disappear in a twinkling of eye
.....let love down.....

Helping my friend to overcomes problem but it’s too hard to keep so much secret……..~

i love that moment

Finally, I found your shadow.

Absurd, I was stunned at that moment.

At last, I found your status in internet.

But alas, I was afraid to leave a comment on it.

When your words is like a maze, my feeling bound me in bizarre.

I feel many in that moment when I saw the words. It was incredulous. I was just imagining who the guy is. It seems stupid to me. We are impossible in everything. Even a short conversation we can have. Everything I feel so lucky…..

It came too fast and flew too soon. I can’t catch your step. It is endless………

The 1^st question I may want to ask is how are you recently?

2^nd question, did you do your job well?

3^rd question, did you get hurt on your last outing?

4^th question, why u leave so early on that day?

5^th question, am I disturbing you?

6^th question, what are you thinking now?

7^th question, can you tell me a story?

……

……

……..

………

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just an extra ordinary thing appeared at the most unwanted moment. And this most wasting moment, u appeared unintentionally. It was an unpredicted scene. It has been etched in my memory, as well as I just reviewing that happiness in a small capacity silently.

alone or popular

Home alone.

Walk alone.

Eat alone.

Dream alone.

Talk alone.

I have been deserted from my soul. It’s a stupid nonsense bluffing myself here.

Maybe I’m trying the life like living in desert. It’s damn bored.

No one in home prepare dinner for you.

No one help you to wash cloths.

No one help you to refill water kettle.

And no one ask how are you.

If a normal human being, he will die very soon. But alas, I’m an exception, I still alive in Malaysia KL desert. Anyone who rendered me a helping hand, help me escape from here, escape from this monotony life.

I’m missing her? Can she feel it?

Someone told me can: some tell me relentlessly, are you using TM-net to connect her heart? I was blush.

In school, there are many rumors around. I don’t know now days, why rumors can spread so fast, just like the tornado moving in a high speed and destroy everything. The rumor has destroyed my perfect repute. I become a playboy at last. This playboy title I can’t handle it, it is like a timer-bomb. It may cause others girl to stray away from me; boy hate introduce girl to me.

Within a day, I will be well-known to everyone.

Within a month, I will be insulated by girls.

Within a month, I will be hated by everyone.

Every moment, I am thinking how to rescue my name, Jeffrey.

This is what happening among my life. In school, tuition centre and even church, I will the target of pursuer scandal. How can I oblivious these rumors. Thus, I must prove to everyone, I’m the one who loyal to girlfriend, I’m the one who don’t complain to girl, I’m the one who put her the most lovely precious.

If the rumors continue, how can I reduce???

a worst date

Watching latest girlfriend going out with a shorter guy, I seem to be a little bit jealous to them. Unbelievable, the boy is shorter than my latest GF. The words come from the boy was fulfill with all the brickbats, thorns as well as much of F**K words. Damn it, I was thinking that, am I really that bad to go out with?


Before this funny scene began, I was expecting to go out with two girls, with lots of fun. But alas, I couldn’t hide my angriness. What I expected before this outing was a simple eating fair. But why at last, I was going with a girl that made me feel bored all the time and made me feel so lonely in the big mall.

Taking the monorail to Time square, my wallet was full of money to bring them to have a nice food out there. The 1st station was a concept shop in Sungei Wang, it was T-bowl. It is a close stool restaurant. It is decorated like we’re eating in toilet. But I’m starting to feel vomit when I read the menu. The name was so bad tasting. When my dish came, I can’t imagine how weird is that feel. Just like clinging beside the toilet bowl, eating those shit that made by me. Unsavory taste assaulted my tasting gestation, my tasting bulb and it brought me to shit place, vomit in the hell.

After this amazing shit comes from t-bowl, I had felt tremendously boring to them. What they chatting was like ear by month, all secret. What the hell was that? I started feel regret to come here. On the way back to TS, the sleepiness came to me. I started to showing out my bored to them.

Before all these jealous thing started, I though we’re just 3 in a group. My latest GF stared to looking around for a boy, it’s her newest toy. I really couldn’t saw the guy when they met. After all the damn boring stuff having from me and the lonely girl, I finally saw the short guy.

I’m such a nerd for her. From their back, I and the girl can saw the guy was merely
shorter than my latest GF.


All these comes from my sight, I was too bad to stray them out to compare with me. Maybe I was terribly infected the sickness of jealous. Asking myself, why my latest GF still accepting my invitation that day. It was the 1st date for them, why she asking me out to see them flirting to each other in front of me.


Before the end of the dizzy hell trip, I feel deeply sorry to them for my brickbats. It almost spoiled my image, pissed.

broken hearted

T-SHIRT

Shontelle T-Shirt Lyrics:
Hey, trying to decide, trying to decide if I,
really wanna go out tonight.
I never use to go out without you,
I´m not sure I remember how to.
gonna be late gonna be late but,
all my girls gon have to wait cause,
I don´t know if I like my outfit.
I tried everything in my closet.

Nothing feels right when I´m not with you,
sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool,
trying to dress up when I´m missing you.
I´m a step out of this lingerie,
curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In bed I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.
Oh, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

Hey, gotta be strong gotta be strong but I´m,
really hurting now that you´re gone.
I thought maybe I´d do some shopping,
but I didn´t get past the door and, now I don´t know, now
I don´t know if I´m, ever really gonna let you go and I,
couldn´t even leave my apartment.
I´m stripped down torn up about it.

Nothing feels right when I´m not with you,
sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool,
trying to dress up when I´m missing you.
I´m a step out of this lingerie,
curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In that I lay (lay), with nothing but your t-shirt on.
(all by myself) with nothing but your t-shirt on.
I´m all by myself with nothing but your t shirt on,
[ Find more Lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.org/QyxP ]
Oh,
with nothing but your t shirt on
(cause I miss you)
(cause I miss you)
with nothing but your t shirt on
(said I miss you baby)
Oh

Now I don´t know, now
I don´t know if I´m, ever really gonna let you go and I,
couldn´t even leave my apartment.
I´m stripped down torn up about it.

(Cause)
Nothing feels right when I´m not with you,
sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
Taking them off cause I feel a fool,
trying to dress up when I´m missing you.
I´m a step out of this lingerie,
curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
In bed I lay

Nothing feels right when I´m not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off cause I feel a fool
Trying to dress up when I´m missing you
(cause I miss you)
Ima step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
(promise if you do)
In bed I lay
(I would be in bed)
with nothing but your t shirt on
Said I got nothing but your t-shirt on

Oh
(cause I wanna be close to you)
with nothing but your t-shirt on
I remember when you would like to see me
with nothing but your t-shirt on
Hey,(nothing but your t-shirt on)
let me tell you know,(nothing but your t-shirt on)
With nothing but your t-shirt on.
Lyrics: T-Shirt, Shontelle [end]

listen to this old song, I remember I have a t-shirt with my dream girl. it is an ordinary t-shirt, from a camp of she help to organize. although I cant go to her camp, but I asked my friend to buy. the size is small as well as tight. I have a giant size of body. obviously, I’ll wear this every time I go to meet her.

every time she saw me, she will continue asking me the same question. by the way, I felt embarrassing to tell her the truth. jz like this lyrics, it seems the girl is very love her boy. there are so many choices out there, why she still stubborn on that shirt? trying to dress up when I missing you.

buy a T-shirt for your girl. she will take that as a treasure.